My First Shrink

This lady changed my life. I hope she knows that.

After a year of counseling, it was one session in particular that paved the way for me. It was toward the end of that year. She told me she had had a previous relationship with a woman. This gets us into another topic that I'll discuss in my next post, but let's move on.

You see, I was not out yet. Like gay out. I wasn't out to the world, just a few peeps. Her willingness to share a private time in her life gave me hope. After that session I went back home, ran for an hour down some country roads, and met a deer.

This may seem strange to you, but nature resonates with me. I connect with it. You could say it’s my religion. It guides me. Seeing that deer run across the road, right in front of me, was another sign of hope. I felt a sudden energy I’d never felt before. It has never repeated itself, and I’m okay if it never does because I feel it was only meant for that moment. I smiled. I felt a release of...doom and failure. It may not seem like the most miraculous thing to you, but I literally sprinted all the way home. It was over a mile that I sustained a sprinting pace. Things seemed to be heading in the right direction. I felt magnificent. 

They say it gets worse before it gets better. My life in general has been full of incredible moments. I'm not forgetting those. In terms of my mental illness however, it would be nine years later that I'd feel magnificent again. 

Stay tuned for next week as I rant and rave about unfortunate labels and assumptions.